Neil E. Golemo
Howdy, welcome to here’s the story, a show that brings Student Affairs to life by sharing the authentic voices and lived experience of those who are shaping the field every day. I’m Dr Neil e colimo. I’m your host, and luckiest guy I know. I’m blessed to serve as the Director of Campus living and learning and Texas A and M University, Sunny Galveston campus. I’m a father, a husband and a son over here just trying to do my best to do a little good or get caught trying. I’m here with my host. JT,

J.T. Snipes
Hey, y’all. JT, snipes. My pronouns are he? Him, His? I serve as an Associate Professor and Chair at Southern Illinois University Edwardsville in the educational leadership department. And you know, I’m here trying to live my best life as a free black man in a world that would have me live otherwise.

Neil E. Golemo
Want to thank today’s sponsor, Huron. Huron, education and research experts help institutions transform their strategy, operation, technology and culture to foster innovation, financial health and student success. Thank you, Huron, for paying the bills. Now to the fun part. JT, I’m so excited that I get to introduce you to my friend, Dr Shania siren, and Shania as one of the most Student Affairs stories that I’ve heard in a minute. Yeah, so Shania, let’s rock. Let’s

Shania Siron
do it. My name is Shania siren. Oh, I’m sorry, Dr, Shania,

J.T. Snipes
come on, Doctor, please say

Shania Siron
I just finished my EDD at Oregon State. So I’m still getting used to hearing hearing myself say it, but y’all can just call me Shania, she her pronouns, and I’m the Director of Student Support at Reed College that’s in Portland, Oregon. Yeah, this is a this is a fun little story about the time that I took a women’s club intramural soccer team and gave it a lot of d1 coaching energy at my tiny, little private liberal arts college. So it was fall of 2021 and we were all just kind of reemerging from our caves of the pandemic. And I was out in Idaho with my dad. My grandma had just passed away, and I was on very much bereavement leave, and got a phone call from the from our Director of Athletics, and he was sort of like, Hey, you mentioned to me one time that you, you like soccer, and you, you do, you do soccer, right? And I was like, Yeah, what’s up? And he was like, well, we’re, we’re looking for a women’s soccer coach, if you know anybody, if you’re interested, you know we need to find someone to start like, Monday or and this was maybe like a Thursday or Friday, out of the state on vacation, like, I’m I’m not available. But because I got that phone call, I answered because I was like, Oh, if he’s calling me something, something’s happening on campus. And he’s like, you know, if we can’t find someone, we’re gonna have to, we’re gonna have to just cancel the women’s team for this year. I had grown up playing soccer year round, and had played for Oregon on their like kind of intramural teams as well at the University of Oregon. And very much like, I wanted to coach like it was already a yes for me in my mind, but once he said that, like, they were gonna have to cancel the women’s team if they women’s team if they couldn’t find someone, I was like, well, now I have, I have to coach. Did not ask my boss if that was something I was allowed to do, basically taking on a second job. Did not consult with anyone. And it was just like, Yep, I’ll be there Monday. Don’t know what I’m signing up for. It ended up being like, probably one of my favorite school years, at Reed. I’ve been at the college for about seven years now, and that was a really cool time to be there, as we were all kind of coming back to being in person. And I had been working in the Career Services Center for a long time. So it got to know students in one capacity, like looking for jobs and, you know, internships, but this was a whole different side of students that I got to see, um. Hmm, and so very quickly, being a student affairs person and a lifelong learner, took it way too seriously and had a spreadsheet and like I had a whole training schedule. I was sending the girls calendar invites. I was sending them like emails before each of our, like, games and practices, I had, like, a whole practice schedule email that would go out, like a newsletter, went really full tilt, really quickly. And I, you know, I had a couple people preface like, hey, Reed does not have, like, NCAA sports, this is very much like a club team that has intramural vibes. So you’re going to have a lot of people who have never seen a ball, never touched the ball, and you’ll have girls who maybe grew up playing their whole life. So it’s quite a spread. So just you know, have low expectations going in for what that’s going to look like, that went out in one ear out the other, and very quickly was like, I think what humble. I humbled myself in that moment when I showed up for that first practice, and was like, trying to explain to them, like, some of these drills, and I just got like, this deer in headlights sort of look. And I think it kind of made me realize pretty quickly, oh, your communication style needs to shift. I’m very used to career where I’m laying out the path for you. You just need to follow it. You know, do your resume make a LinkedIn network with alumni, just like x, y, z, but I had so many girls who had never played before, so I had to really step back and take time to actually think about, How do I explain some of these things that are just very second nature to me, like how to kick a soccer ball to players who had never done this versus player, while also having players who are really experienced. So it definitely helped me, maybe, as a student affairs person, find another medium for how to communicate with students. But it was also like we were very rag tab, group of soccer players on a very not awesome soccer field, and without no one had expectations for these girls in terms of like playing or skills. And I think that almost made me more emboldened to take it so seriously that I was like, you know, no, we may not be like the most prestigious team, but like you’re I’m going to take it seriously, and I’m going to model that like you are worthy of having a really great team and having a really good coach and having expectations. And so I am a firm believer of, like, if you can’t run, you can’t play soccer, because it’s like, 99% of it’s just running. And so first couple of weeks back, when I, you know, when I was in high school, was Daily Doubles and conditioning. And so soccer wasn’t super fun until you were in good enough shape to play. And so I had those girls running two miles and doing like sprinting drills, on top of having to just do their normal footwork. And I remember the boys team kind of being like, what are they like? What are what’s she making them do? And we would scrimmage the boys team, and they’re, of course, and like, they’re like, trying to juke the girls and, like, use fancy footwork, and the girls are kind of, like, getting frustrated. And I’m like, Hey, like, you you got hips, like, you know, like, plant down and like, you can use your bodies. Like, that’s women’s soccer is really physical and like, don’t let those boys think that they can juke you like you got to get in their minds a little bit. And so we started shifting to drills that were, like, very physical, very defensive, trying to kind of, like, get them more confident in those skills. I had them do. I had them do, like, a I put I paired them up together, made them lock arms, and I had cones around them in like a square. And I’m like, All right, you got to push each other out of these squares. It’s like sumo wrestling, and whoever pushes the other one out wins. And we really shifted to, like, getting the team to feel really confident with, like, body contact. And I’m like, you may not win these games, but don’t make it easy for these other teams to beat you. And I think, like over that time, I helped get a budget for this team, helped organize these girls, like we came into practices and games with like, clear schedule and a game plan. And I think by the time. Time I was done coaching that year, at the end of the season, we played University of Oregon, my alma mater, and their club, their women’s club team. Like, those girls could all be d1 d2 like, they’re very good, and we probably were not going to win. And I had them all stacked up, like, I literally had 10 of my players on the defense line and, like, one forward at the front, and I had basically, like a human relay of my players. And I’m like, they’re not gonna if we all put you all back, they’re not gonna get through you. And that was like, and we finally had shifted this team to where, like, we’re not gonna win, but we’re gonna be really defensive, really physical, and not make it easy for them. And I think when I shifted off and stopped coaching, those girls kept playing with a different coach, and the following year, they had expectations, like they were, like, expecting this coach to show up with a practice schedule, expecting to have to go on runs and like had, it had elevated their mindset as women players. And I think that was the biggest, like, the biggest payout of that year was like seeing all these players who, a year ago, were about to not have a team

Shania Siron
shift to like, really appreciating that structure and really appreciating a coach that was going to take them seriously as a team and elevate that team. And I think that’s a big component for me of like, you know, women sports, thankfully, now a lot more opportunity than there used to be, but women players like myself, you accept that someday you’re not ever you’re not going to get to go pro, you may not even get to go d1 and having to accept that, like, someday you won’t step on the field again. And so I think women sort of accept that because there are fewer opportunities for them to go and onto those opportunities. And like, that was, for me, maybe what really instilled that I’m like, I gotta coach this team. I don’t want these girls to not have this opportunity. And then I think I instilled it maybe a little too hard, because then when I stepped away, they were like, Yeah, we still, we expect somebody to step in and lead us as a coach. And I think like that was the biggest payoff of coaching them that year, was how much, how much more empowered they felt as women players to expect opportunity and structure and support and resources for their Sport. All

J.T. Snipes
right. Thank you.

Neil E. Golemo
I’m like. This is very it’s giving, uh, Bad News Bears. Those are

Shania Siron
little Bad News Bears. I feel like, like I said, I maybe cuss a little too much as a coach, especially like when they were playing games, I was, like, screaming like, across the soccer field at them, but yeah, again, I probably took it a little too seriously.

Neil E. Golemo
So tell me about the team, like you talked about, you know, I’m picturing, you know, a sand lot, and, you know, a half deflated soccer ball and and stuff like this, like you talked about them being diverse. Like, talk to me a little bit more about that.

Shania Siron
Yeah. Um, so it kind of was a little bit sandlot ish, um, we had, we had soccer balls, um, but I had some girls that, like, didn’t have cleats or shin guards. We did not have, like, matching uniforms, and so that, I think being in student affairs, working for the college, helped me as a coach, know how to find the money and the resources and who to ask for, and how to negotiate for these things. So we were able to get the what the women and the men’s team. It was like a needs based fund of like, if you need cleats or shorts or socks, like all these things, we were able to get them resourced for those things. And I think, like, that’s, you know, it’s like, look good, feel good. Kind of thing, like you I think a big part of me, maybe it’s my own vanity. Was like, I want them to match like a normal, like an everyday team would, like, I don’t want that to be a reason that these girls show up at these big schools with beautiful facilities and feel out of place. But then on top of that, it’s also like, if you’re going to get these resources, then you got to show up and put the work in. And so I had a team of like I had women who had played their whole life, who had traveled, who could have gone to a d2 school and played, but chose to come to this school that didn’t have NCAA athletics. And so I. And Reed is a hyper academic school. So I had these girls who were, like, amazing at soccer and very intelligent, and they just, they just chose to come to this school. And so I think a lot of players who didn’t think they would get to play competitively again as adults, who were like, living through this opportunity. And then I had some students who had just never played before, and they were just kind of doing this as a PE class, just for fun, and didn’t realize that what they were stepping into, maybe when they signed up, never played before at all. Never played before. And so that was why I had them do the sumo wrestling drill, because I had grown me growing up playing, I was like, they won’t touch each other. It’s like, they’re magnets, like, they won’t like, they’ll go for the ball, but they won’t actually, like, truly go for the ball, you know, because they didn’t want to come into contact. And if you haven’t grown up playing contact sports, maybe you don’t really know how to use your body to do that safely. Or if, you know, I had international students who may be just their culture, they they didn’t have the opportunity to play the sport. Or they’re in a culture where, potentially, like, that sort of, like, brute physicality of soccer is just like, not normalized me, and I’m like, women’s soccer is super physical, and you should be physical. You should not feel like you’re not allowed to be or you’re like, I and also, if you’re not comfortable being physical, then it can be unsafe, then you’re throwing your body into situations you’re not prepared for. Um, but it was a lot of me having to kind of step back and really think about how to explain these drills and why we’re doing them, when, to me, it’s so second nature. And it ended up being a really cool experience. I had some girls who had grown up playing lacrosse or basketball or it, like all these other sports who, like, I was like, watching their athlete brain click on again where it’s it’s a new it’s a new drill, but their athlete brain is like, trying to absorb all the information and learn the technicality of this new sport. And then I also had those girls who just had never played sports before, and like, felt really out of place. And I’m like, I’m like, so intense. I’m like, you don’t let anyone ever make you feel out of place, like it’s and they’re like, Okay, thank you. It’s a little much, but thank you.

J.T. Snipes
I’m interested, sort of relatedly, in why you wanted to tell this story.

Shania Siron
I think when I was trying to think about like the story that brought me the most joy. It was not just like this coaching this team, but the like experience of coaching students that I you know, having been a full having been a full time staff member at Reed College, these are students I see every day in a different capacity, and that in coaching, I saw them as these, almost like whole people, because it’s outside of classes, it’s outside of Student Services offices, it’s in this really free space of just sports. And I think that’s where I really got to learn who they were as as individuals, and that includes like their mentality. And how they show up for each other’s teammates. And I think that was probably the time that, like the school year, went by so fast because I was just having so much fun, maybe too much fun, because I ended up tearing my ACL that year playing soccer with them. Sometimes I’d hop in when they were playing and yeah, I my ortho surgeon was definitely like, why playing with 18 and 19 year olds and maybe play with people your own age. But honestly, I mean, I don’t regret it either. I mean, I’m like, yeah, it tearing your ACL hurts and surgery is not fun. But like, I don’t regret getting to play soccer with them and form those relationships with those students over the course of that time, those are, these are students that still will text me when they get a new job or like, need my help figuring out how to negotiate for a salary. I had one of my players after the season was over email me and she said she’s like, thank you so much for making us run. I. I just had to run through the Denver Airport with all of my luggage. I made it, and I was so sweaty, but she’s like, she’s like, I was thinking the whole time about how you used to make us run sprints. You know? How many coaches get thanked for conditioning? Yeah, yeah. I think that was, like, that was the, the peak for me so far of Student Affairs. Well,

J.T. Snipes
I’m curious too, right? I think it sounds like some of the work that we do is not rooted in play, right? There’s, there’s a larger sort of lesson that we’re trying to teach. And I’m curious if you think sports and and I would say just the larger notion of like just playing gives us a different insight to how people operate. Is that the thing that you were seeing, or is it something else? Um,

Shania Siron
so I’m an Aries. So

J.T. Snipes
hey, Aries twin, let’s go, come on if there’s

Shania Siron
any opportunity for play. I hear competition like, if I can’t win, I don’t want to play. But, I mean, yeah, I think getting these girls to feel like it’s okay to be competitive, it’s okay to want to win, and to like, actually beat other players and compete against each other. And I think when you’re at such a hyper academic school, there may not be as many opportunities to really like let that sort of feral competitive side out, or even as many opportunities for that physical play. And so I think that was the fun part is like watching these, like watching the women want to win games and or we would scrimmage the boys team, and they, like, they wanted to, like, score, even just a goal on, like, you know, and like, having that like, deep desire to obtain a goal. And I think that was for me, really fun to watch them all kind of like, shift from kind of like that rag tag sandlot team of like, well, we’re just here to have fun and, you know, and you’re sort of already, you’re setting the bar low for yourself already, because no one has set it high for you and Me, stepping in and being like, we’re gonna treat we’re gonna practice and play like we’re a serious team, because we are. And if people are telling you you’re not, like, that’s you know, that is what’s creating this, like, low set of expectations for yourself. And I feel like I’m just like, that’s unacceptable, like, if you want to win, like, Let’s go for it. And I think even if it’s unlikely, or we’re not, like a large institution with a deep bench, like, let’s, let’s treat it seriously anyways.

Neil E. Golemo
So we’re talking about winning and play because, you know, I don’t know if I, I think I might counterpoint you a little bit. JT, in that like, I feel like a lot of what we do, especially in student affairs, is kind of play, at least in a way, you know, like your skills that you get from leading or being, you know, the President, Vice President of your club, you know, that’s all in a way, you know, that’s practicing here, so you could be good here. And I think that we do do a lot of it, but I think this is just a really clear, wonderful, stark example of that, you know, and talking about winning, like, I gotta know how many games did Chase win? What was your record?

Shania Siron
Zero. We didn’t win a single game. We didn’t even get close. We got, we got one game where we lost one to three, which was we’re so and we finally, like, we, like, scored a goal. And I think I almost cried, and I’m, I’m not a crier, but I was like, We did it. We won for ourselves, like we finally scored a goal. But we didn’t. We scored one goal that whole season. Wow, yeah. Yeah. And I think that’s like, with that in mind, that there’s, there’s this still determination to treat ourselves like a winning team. And I think, again, like female athletes. I think my, my master’s research was on athletics and looking at training. Transitional crises of predominantly male athletes, of like, if you’ve if messaging has been or you’ve been socialized to believe that you can go pro, your coaches are telling you can go. D1 like you’re having people and messaging around you, telling you you can do this thing. It’s really hard for particularly like d1 male athletes who had the potential to go pro, transition away from athletics, because that’s a core part of your identity. And so there’s a little bit of a transitional crisis there, because now you’re kind of like, who am I, if not, this, this sport, whereas women, like female athletes, don’t tend to have as higher of a likelihood of that transitional crisis, because the fewer messaging, fewer opportunities, a lot of female athletes accept that, like, one day, I’ll stop playing this sport, and I’ll go on and and do something else. And so I think it’s tough for me because I I’m like, I don’t want these girls to I don’t want these women to discount themselves because of the like, the social system that’s already kind of operating against them as as women athletes, although I’m like, pretty sure we’re not going to win like. I want to instill this value in you that like you can be unabashed and belligerently confident and like and probably maybe still not win, but like practice and train and treat yourself as though you could, and that’s, you know, this lifelong skill that I want them to take out into the world as well. So I

Neil E. Golemo
want to say this quiet part out loud, because I think it just bears saying. So you got all of these women to come up and to stick with it, running, you know, like, practically, you know, abusing them with with extra running and everything, and they stuck through the year, and they scored one goal, yeah, and, like, they still stuck with it, yeah, I think that’s saying a lot, right there. I mean, because they don’t have to do this, it’s club. They’re not getting a grade, you know, they probably had to pay a little bit to participate. So, credit a couple. Okay, well, still, okay, you know, to stay, stay and do this. And so, like, how do you know that they got better? Like, how, how did you keep them? And, yeah,

Shania Siron
so I think, like, it kind of goes back to, like, I treated them like they were a winning team, and I treated them like they were, you know, an organized college sport team. So I’m like I had expectations, like I’m emailing you the practice schedule. Don’t show up, as if you didn’t read my email, like I expect you to read it and show up knowing what we’re going to do that day. I expect you to help me set up and take down like, put the cones away, go get the balls. We don’t we don’t walk onto the field. We jog onto it like we I’m all these things that were instilled in me as an athlete growing up where, like, you don’t realize it until you’re adult, or maybe when you’re in this position where you’re having to teach other people that like this is you’re treating yourself and your team with respect and but that also is like in return. We’re like, I’m scheduling the busses and the transportation. I’m getting the per diem to feed them lunch after games. I’m like, you know, I’m getting the ball bag and the thing so they can just show up and get on the bus. I’m helping make sure we have a driver so the girls have, like, a driver to and from games. Like, I’m treating them with a level of, you know, merit, because I want them to see themselves as a team. That’s worth having those like little things that make you feel like an organized team. And I think that’s honestly like, what maybe help like, help them form bonds, but also help them stick through it is because they they felt like this is something special, like, I’m proud to be on this team. I’m proud to like, have this relationship, and I’m being treated with the level of like, dignity and respect that I think that’s really what kept them and like, as you can see, like that was really important to me. I’m like, Yes, you should feel a level of pride and dignity and respect when you’re playing sports, and it doesn’t matter if it’s this low level club team, it doesn’t matter if we’re losing, we’re still going to pretend like we’re this amazing d1 team. And I think that helped instill like that sense of persistence in them to want to keep showing up and. The playing along with my intense craziness, I would do things like I would email them right before practice, because I just want to see who’s checking my emails. I’d email them like an hour or two before practice and tell them, bring your tennis shoes, no context, and they knew what it was gonna it was gonna be, we’re running, we’re gonna go, we’re gonna go for a run today. And they and like, they would do it. Like they would respond, they would respond to the call to action. And I think, like, I don’t know if that was just lightning in a bottle that one year, but I think when I stepped down the following year, like they expected the same thing from the next coach, they’re kind of like, we want practice schedule, we want, you know, like we want these extra things, because we now see ourselves as this, you know, this elite team. And so maybe I just created 12 monsters,

Neil E. Golemo
but it was though that’s exactly what we’re trying to do,

Shania Siron
yeah, but you know, hopefully in their future careers and in their lives, they’ll continue to have that level of expectation around like, that sense of like, worth and dignity and pride in their work. And yeah, I, you know, I have no regrets. I think

Neil E. Golemo
it’s cool that, like, you know, you’re talking about how they changed, how they saw themselves. But I think it’s pretty obvious that, you know, when we talked about a story like this, is the one you want to tell. Like it obviously, you know this, this thing that you have kind of guilted voluntold into because you were in career services, yeah, I guess, like the most Student Affairs thing ever, honestly, where you end up getting as much out of it. I don’t know, maybe that’s just me projecting, but I think it’s

Shania Siron
pretty cool we get to do this. Yeah? I mean, I think it did show me a side of myself that I’m like, my my coach persona is very loud, very intense, like I’m and I think that though, for me, being in that space of being like, Oh, I really, like, I’m like, I’m I’m not bringing a screwdriver to solve the problem. I’m bringing a sledgehammer and being like, that’s actually, yeah, that’s who I am. I’m a bulldozer about things like, if I think something is not fair and equitable, or a system needs to be changed, or someone is not getting fair treatment, I’m not delicate about addressing it and fixing it and finding the resources and the people and the funding to get it done, and I will not let it go. And so I think that was a space where all of that energy was like, wrapped up into like, making sure this women’s team felt like they were getting that support from me, and I think it then I’m, I’m sure, has bled over into who I am now on campus.

Neil E. Golemo
Awesome. Well, I hate to say it, but I think, I think that’s, that’s it, that’s our story. And so Shania, you are a delight. Thank you so much for sharing your joy in the story with us. And we also need to thank our sponsor, Huron. Huron collaborates with colleges and universities to create sound strategies, optimize operations and accelerate digital transformation by embracing diverse perspectives, encouraging new ideas and challenging the status quo. Huron promotes institutional resilience and higher education. For more information, please visit go.hcg.com dot hcg.com/now, this has been here’s the story which is part of the Student Affairs now, family, we are so glad you joined us to laugh, cry, learn, sometimes commiserate, but always celebrate being a part of the Student Affairs experience. If you have a story, and we all have a story. Please consider sharing yours with us by leaving a two minute pitch via voicemail voice file at Student Affairs now.com/here. The story. Every story is welcome and every earnest perspective is worry worthy. And even if you don’t feel like sharing yours, you can always find ours and others at Student Affairs now.com you can go find us on YouTube or anywhere you listen to podcasts. This episode has been edited by Nat Ambrosey, Nat, thank you for making us look good and sound better than we have any business sounding and everybody we hope this fan. Your flame a little bit because your light matters. Keep using it to make the world a brighter place. Until next time this has been here’s the story. I’m Neil E. Golemo.

J.T. Snipes
I’m JT Snipes,

Shania Siron
I’m Shaina Siron, thank

Neil E. Golemo
you, everybody. Peace, good job.

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